Time
by Nota Bene
Summary: And then it hit her. She was wasting her time.


disclamer:-( still not mine

authors note: just another drabble, thoughts running through my head. it's set sometime after addi comes to seattle, definitely before the prom, but i don't know when exactly.

hope you guys enjoy! and i would really appreciate reviews, i'm feeling deprived. my other one shots only got one review each-makes me feel unloved :-( show me you love me...

anyways, enjoy!!

Time

_Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you_

_Carl Sandburg_

Today sucked.

As was the norm in Seattle, it was raining and Addi had to rush across the parking lot in her 3 inch prada heels to find shelter. The thought never occurred to her that she ought to buy an umbrella when she moved to Seattle. Who would have thought that the sky could contain so much water? It was pissing her off.

Walking through the revolving doors, she shook off the excess water from her coat. The wind had blown her hair around her head and she smoothed her no-longer-straight hair back off her face, trying to create some sense of order.

Addison hated the rain, she hated the wind, and she hated Seattle. Ever since she had arrived at SGH, nothing had gone her way. Everyday was like waking up and stepping straight into a soap opera. It was exactly like high school with the rumor mill going so fast nobody could differentiate between true and false anymore. Not to mention the stares and the comments behind her back.

"_Did you see that? McDreamy's wife just walked in and she looks ready to stab someone."_

"_She shouldn't even be called his wife, she cheated on him!"_

"_She doesn't deserve someone like him. He's too good for a whore like her."_

"_She really is Satan…"_

And just like in high school, she hated it. Granted, back then there was more justification to their whisperings. It wasn't like she was the most popular girl in the place. Girls with braces and Star Wars obsessions tend to be frowned upon at that age. But that was then, this was now. And now, all people talked about was what happened in New York. About her, and Derek, and Mark and how horrible she was to cheat and then come to Seattle as if nothing had happened.

But none of that was true. What did they know anyway?

They were pissing her off, life was pissing her off. The fact that she was pissed off was pissing her off! Why should she have to wake up every morning and hate everything about her life; even she didn't deserve to feel so terrible. A mistake is a mistake and nothing can change that, but she was working so hard to repent, and what did she get? Nothing.

Correction, she didn't get nothing, she got gossip and lies. That was probably worse than nothing.

Talk about being pissed off.

It was just…she was trying so hard and getting nowhere. It was like a dream where you're trying to run and you go faster and faster and at the end, you realize you haven't moved an inch.

All Addison wanted was an inch. Is that so hard? Just a small light in the darkness, something to let her know it would be alright. And if not for now, than at least in the long run. Addi needed to know that all the effort she was putting in wasn't in vain.

That was all she needed-to know she was making progress.

And then it hit her.

She was wasting her time. Well, she wasn't really wasting her time, Derek was wasting her time. Putting hour after hour after hour into a relationship that was never going to mend; Addi couldn't do it anymore. She had thought it was worth the effort, but she was getting nothing. Derek was wasting her time.

Addison straightened upholding her head high. No longer would she throw away minutes, hours, and days of her life trying to fix what had happened. She needed to spend her life the way she wanted.

What time is gone is gone, but she had so much left. Years left to live her own life, on her own terms, with no one deciding for her whether she would be happy in the end or not. This was it. This was the end of her wasting her life away on a failed marriage. She would start over.

Addison would live again.

just take two minutes out of your time and write a small review, it won't be a waste of your time ;)


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